Especially if your existence is a constant failure… When you own nothing, you have no future, job and no woman wants you (and you still a virgin as an old adult)… Recently I’ve feeling suicidal again, I don’t think I have the courage to do it, which makes this worse,I can’t even stop this from messing with me.
Sorry if you are bothered by this but I’m feeling really rotten. Just… Don’t tell me to get help, that’s not a possibility. I’m getting tired of just waking up alive.
I’ve spent a lot of time hating life and wanting to die but not being in a place to make it happen. I tried once, in a manic state and, thankfully, it didn’t work out. I was genuinely mad that I woke up in a hospital ER. When you’re down, it seems like you’ll never be able to enjoy anything again. It can, and does, shift. It seems like it’s never-ending, but it will swing upward again if you can just hold on. I’m sorry that you’re having a bad time. It’s terrible when that happens. Please just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You don’t know what might happen in the future that you wouldn’t want to miss.