Especially if your existence is a constant failure… When you own nothing, you have no future, job and no woman wants you (and you still a virgin as an old adult)… Recently I’ve feeling suicidal again, I don’t think I have the courage to do it, which makes this worse,I can’t even stop this from messing with me.
Sorry if you are bothered by this but I’m feeling really rotten. Just… Don’t tell me to get help, that’s not a possibility. I’m getting tired of just waking up alive.
I’m a little unsure why you think it’s not possible to get help. It almost always is. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
There are many hotlines, but they all lead you to the same place, which makes the amount of them dumb.
dafuq
considers
We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?
– Richard Dawkins
Dawkins was talking about human dissatisfaction with mortality, but I think that perhaps it puts perspective on life as well.
I’ve been alive as long as I can remember, and everyone I interact with is alive. Familiarity breeds contempt, and it’s perhaps easy, from that perspective, to forget how rare a thing life is.
How strange it is, to be anything at all.
I’ve spent a lot of time hating life and wanting to die but not being in a place to make it happen. I tried once, in a manic state and, thankfully, it didn’t work out. I was genuinely mad that I woke up in a hospital ER. When you’re down, it seems like you’ll never be able to enjoy anything again. It can, and does, shift. It seems like it’s never-ending, but it will swing upward again if you can just hold on. I’m sorry that you’re having a bad time. It’s terrible when that happens. Please just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You don’t know what might happen in the future that you wouldn’t want to miss.
