As a backup option, you can give Google Assistant or a Google Home the following commands: “at 10PM, sleep {lightname}” to dim, or “at 6AM, wake {lightname}” to brighten - both work over the space of a half-hour, and for some odd reason that’s not customizable.
You can change your situation all you like, but it’s not going to change who you are (especially as this big brother world enabled by technology makes it virtually impossible to escape your past). If you’ve reached a point where you have virtually nothing left to motivate you to move forward (especially if it has been that way for a long time), then the significant effort it would take to try to save you is unlikely to be worth it (never mind finding anyone who would actually care enough to devote themselves to such a task) - particularly with an outcome that is FAR from certain to be a positive one.
Some people just reach a point of being basically devoid of hope, and therefore pretty much dead inside.
Don’t ask me how I know.