People. We, the French, pulled a left-wing coalition out of our asses in less than a week and managed to “win” an election. You have months. Hope is permitted.
Baseless accusations of transphobia escalated to a level of drama that is way too typical of trans internet spaces and I’m done seeing it. Which is why I’m not just leaving blahaj, but those spaces in general.
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People. We, the French, pulled a left-wing coalition out of our asses in less than a week and managed to “win” an election. You have months. Hope is permitted.
Thank fuck I’m not American. Now, if you’d excuse me, I must get ready for the potential imminent arrival of fascism in about 2 days in my country (France). Can’t wait to see the US fall as well! Wow! What a wonderful fucking world awaits us, huh? 💀
Imagine having a world view based on such fragile bullshit that two animals fucking can shatter it…
I’ll give him credit on this: It’s not dead yet. I’m genuinely surprised about that.
NOW INTRODUCING: Public transports! But private! And dIsRuPTiVe!
Imagine going to the bathroom, just to take a shit! How fucking weird, right? (/s)
…seriously, I wonder what these people imagine we’re doing in the bathroom. Or hell, what are they doing in the bathroom that warrant such worries?
Here’s a personal story. It’s a long one and it’s purely anecdotal. But I think it’s fitting.
I’m in the process of diagnosing my autism, and I mean it’s pretty much done. I’m autistic, there is no doubt about it at this point, but now I just need what we could call a stamp of approval for it to be officially recognized by my government. So I had to see a psychiatrist to do this. Currently, in my country it’s kind of hard to do so because they are all completely booked so I basically jumped on the first one that was available.
I sent him an email explaining to him my situation, telling him that I’m a trans woman, about my pronouns, he was aware of absolutely everything, and he told me that it was all good with him. Previous experiences in my life had taught me to be wary of psychiatrists, but I tried to go in with an open mind. I brought all of the tests that I had done with therapists who were specialized in the domain of autism and everything with me so that we could go over all of this. According to those people that I was seeing, it should have been just a formality, or at the very least he could’ve wanted me to do some tests quickly just to double check but that was it.
So I finally went to see him. And the first thing he did was misgender me. He called me sir, called me he and then he noticed that I flinched at this. Made a point of addressing it. And I told him that yeah it was a bit weird because you know I told him in advance and people didn’t misgender me nowadays so it was weird. He half-apologized for his “mistake”, before telling me that it was my fault. Because according to him, my passing wasn’t good enough. He told me that I didn’t look feminine enough and that reality was harsh and that sometimes we just had to accept that things are not the way we want them to be. That he wasn’t going to pretend just to please me.
And mind you, my passing is good. Not to brag or anything but I am never misgendered. I always had a very feminine face, a very feminine body. I always had long hair, so I was already passing before I was out. And now it’s even better. I have guys walking up to me and flirting with me for 10 minutes straight and never questioning if I’m a man or a woman. The point is my passing isn’t an issue, and even if it was, fuck him. That’s not something he should judge. You are a psychiatrist, not a stylist. Shut the fuck up and stay in your lane.
I tried to divert from all of this. I wanted to cry but I still tried and remained focused about what I was here for. So I handed him all of the papers that I had from my therapist who was specialized in autism, all the tests we did and told him here are everything I have, all of my pre-diagnostics, how should we proceed? He barely took a look at them before telling me that he categorically refused to help me with the diagnosis, saying that it was just a trend.
I tried to explain to him that I needed this because I was trying to build a file that would recognize me legally as a disabled worker because, well, I am, and it would help me greatly in my day-to-day life especially at work, because I would be granted accommodations for my hypersensitivities and the like. He told me he refused to help me with this and told me that we had to work on other things like for example that I had a habit of self-diagnosis. I had self-diagnosed my autism for example and I was kind of stunned at this because… I didn’t.
I had a long track record of doctors suspecting that I was maybe autistic but never really going all the way for a diagnosis. I finally decided to take action and see some people who immediately confirmed that yes, I very likely was. I was getting frustrated but I was thinking that he was the professional and maybe he was right, maybe something was wrong with me, but then he continued and said that I also self-diagnosed my trans identity.
I was fucking stunned at this. To the point where I just couldn’t say anything, so I let him continue and he continued talking about it, about my trans identity, how it was clear I had some identity issues and so on. And the way he talked about it, I started to feel dread. He was talking about me being trans like it was some psychosis.
This was the first time I saw this motherfucker, we had never met before, and he somehow deduced all of this in like 30 minutes. Like, the dude talked with such confidence, like he had it all figured out already. And this was the first time anybody told me something like that. It’s not like there was a pattern with my therapist or even the doctors that I saw who gave me hormones or anything. No, he was the first one to do this.
The second I walked in, he immediately got set on trying to cure the fact that I was trans. He became fixated on it and ignored everything else I was telling him. He always brought it back to this.
And mind you, this is not the protocol at all for my country when it comes to trans people. That’s not how you do things. But at the same time, from what I understand, once you got your medical license here, well, there is no need to take a refresher course. And this dude got it like 20, 30 years ago. And he never had to brush up on his knowledge. The dude was basically trying to diagnose me with “transsexual syndrome” or something like that.
Figuring out that I was trans is one of the best things that ever happened to me. My life has never been this hard and yet I’ve never been this happy. And he wanted to take it all away from me. He saw it as some problem to be fixed.
The last interaction I had with him was when I gave him my medical card. He proceeded to bill me much more than I anticipated, so that was fun but that was only after he commented on the card, which had a very old photo of me where I looked much more masculine (really short hair) but also my deadname which he proceeded to read aloud and comment on how he liked it, asking me how I came up with “Plume”, and how different it was than [DEADNAME].
Needless to say, I never saw him again.
I did talk about it a lot with my therapist, she was shocked at what I was telling her. My doctor who put me on hormones told me something along the lines of, “what an asshole”. I was shaken by the experience. Still kind of am. If I had been a minor and didn’t really have a say in any of this, I am convinced, without a doubt, that the dude would have put me through some sort of like conversion therapy.
Talking about this to some other trans people, I learned that, at least in my country, this is a shockingly common occurrence…
I just want to be me…
I was talking to my therapist yesterday about this, before this news dropped. How I couldn’t wait to get my new ID card with an F on it so that I could finally go to the bathroom without too much fear. If someone happened to spot that maybe I was trans, I could just put it out and say “look, I’m a woman” and walk away.
But she was in disbelief at this. She genuinely couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of someone making a scene because a trans person was in their bathroom. Like, at first, she thought I was blowing up a non existent issue. “Who would do this?!”, she asked, And I told her it was an actual issue that lots of people were doing it and therefore lots of trans people avoided the bathroom like the plague.
And when I told her about some US states new laws, taking Utah as an example, her jaw dropped. She had this look of utter disappointment, like I had just chipped away a piece of her faith in humanity.
Not only did the idea never crossed her mind, she couldn’t even conceive why it would be a problem. I laughed at this and told her: “That’s because you’re a normal person.”
Just wanted to share this with all of you, especially fellow trans people. It’s good to know that while some people are mentally deranged at the idea of my existence, It not only seems to be a very loud minority, but it also seems to be a repellent for a lot of people who cannot grasp their obsessions.
Seeing someone who isn’t really aware of our issues in the first place being shocked at these things was relieving. It felt good and gave me hope.
This is a good indication that I need to go to bed. It took me like a minute and a half to actually get it.
…I am so fucking tired.
I’m afraid you are putting a lot of words into my mouth and making lots of assomptions about what I’m saying here. I don’t really know how to answer to this because, well, you’re debating against things I didn’t say.
I’m calling you cis, because it’s simply a descriptive term. You are white, you are a man, you are cisgender. That’s not a problem. I’m white, I’m a woman, I’m transgender. That’s not a problem. These, on their own, are simply descriptors. No one here is saying that you’re a problem. I’m talking about people who specifically take offense to these terms, like Musk here does, like, if you tell this man that he is “cis”, he will genuienly get upset.
Ok, I’m going to be completely honest with you. I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.
Are you telling me that I made a shit comment? If so, please do say so because I’m gonna be honest: I am not sure about this comment and I’ve been thinking about deleting it ever since I posted it. I rewrote it like five or six times before until I finally got fed up with it and said “fuck it” and posted it. :|
EDIT:
So, according to all of you, I worry too much. Thanks a lot for the support, and I’m glad you liked my comment. ❤️
You believe that cis is a slur because that’s how you use the word trans.
These people are so fragile. If you dare remind them that they’re cisgender, that they’re straight, that they’re white, that they’re able-bodied, they take it personally because to them, they’re just normal.
All of the sudden, they have to think about their place in society and it absolutely terrifies them. They are like rich people when you tell them that they’re rich. They will do this whole fucking song and dance to try and tell you about how they are not that rich and how the government taxes them and everything and how they’re just like you and so on.
They are not white, they are not cis, they are not straight, they are not able-bodied, no, they are just normal. It’s everyone else that is different. It’s them who are black, who are gay, who are trans, who are disabled. They’re different.
But my guy, you are not. You are as much a part of the society as I am. And you’re getting just a small taste of what it’s like to be a minority in said society. Someone reminded you of what you are for just a second. Now, imagine being constantly brought back to what you are and not who you are. What that would be like.
People like Elon Musk take offense to being called straight, white, cis or able-bodied because everything else is inferior to them.
On a side note: Someone should remind him of what the Nazis did to disabled people. Because the dude is clearly getting cozy with a lot of them, but I don’t think being this level of clinically stupid is going to get him far in the Fourth Reich. Besides, those South African origins… erh, that may get him in trouble. And having a trans daughter? Woof, doesn’t sound like “good genes” to me. Elon, you may want to pick better friends.
Do tread on me. :3
If you want to burn it all, don’t be surprised if you end up burning down with it.
Hey, if you’d rather have the Republicans open fascists in power, you do you. I question your survival instincts, but still. I just hope you’re just a tiny vocal minority, otherwise we might be all fucked. Or, if you’re not a vocal minority… well, I hope you’re right and I’m wrong.
We’ll see I guess.
On one hand, you have people who are mostly comfortable with letting Palestinians die. On the other, people who openly talk about nuking them.
You have a group of people who may be willing to throw minorities under the bus. And you have another group that is waiting for the opportunity to do so and make it law.
Both choices are terrible, I agree, but there is one that is a clear better over the other. It sucks, but you have to accept that it’s the way it is for now and you are not going to pull some third party out of your ass. That is going to have to wait for now. You have to make a decision between the lesser of two evils.
I’m counting on you, Americans. As a trans woman from a European country which political climate is heavily influenced by yours, I can quite confidently say that my rights are in your hands.
Quite frankly, I can’t think of a more terrifying thought, but it is what it is.
Don’t fuck this up. Please.
I gotta give these people credit. It must take a massive amount of effort to try and be this consistently on the wrong side of history. Like, at some point, it has to be deliberate…
My guy, you like China. We get it. You made four post to this sub about this in the same day.
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I know. You’re missing my point. :)
My point wasn’t the coalition. My point was that we had 21 days to cobble something together and not only did we do it, we managed to win with it. It’s not about the coalition, it’s about building a campaign. You have months to do so.
And you’re about to say that Trump had way longer to do so. Yes. So did the far right in our country, which barely even campaigned because all of the media were doing so on their behalf for the last two years and we still managed to outnumber them.
Trust me, my faith in the Democrats is barely existent. But still, I think it can be done.