• 1 Post
  • 40 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: July 1st, 2023
  • DarkDiamondK@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•Lemmy, how do you deal with heartbreak?
    1·
    5 months ago

    I don’t even really remember I think, I don’t even really feel like I’ve “dealt” with it. I’ll tell some of my experience but I won’t go into too much detail.

    For us, we were even talking about marriage, but I did something wrong and I felt helpless after the break up, I couldn’t do anything, other problems arouse and I even started planning suicide.

    I tried talking to other people, some related to the situation and some not, to get perspective on stuff, I even got a new job, but depression hit me hard once I started, so I quit soon after to get that under control which was fine, my financial situation was good enough to do this at the time.

    Eventually I just started thinking about what I wanted in a relationship and somehow I stopped blaming myself, but now I have a anger I don’t know how to deal with towards her and her family, we see each other once a week during our martial arts class, and it keeps it kinda fresh on my mind but I love the class so I decided it’s worth it.

    I’m talking to someone else, not really as a potential romantic partner but someone who I can be good friends with and if it goes that way then it’s a plus. I didn’t have the biggest friend group before and it got even smaller after the break up, so I’m trying to branch out.

    I guess that’s how I dealt with it, focused on a hobby, and making new friends, making sure I got to talk it out with various people to make sure I didn’t get into an echo chamber (which my brain and family would be a major one)

  • DarkDiamondK@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•How long have you gone without being in a romantic relationship?
    1·
    6 months ago

    About two weeks now, she broke it off cause I fucked up, I know I did.

    a few months ago we had sex, it had been building and it was nice, but about a week or two after she said she didn’t want anymore till marriage for religious reasons, which I understood as we both come from Christian backgrounds.

    The problem came from my sexual frustration affecting my actions, I tried respecting her boundary but as we would cuddle a lot, I would get aroused and then frustrated with myself.

    Two weeks prior to our breakup, I asked if she would let me relieve myself as I tried this the last time we hung out and was much more relaxed, but I didn’t want to force her out of the room to do so

    So I asked if she wanted to stay, she first said yes, which I knew was a lie, and I asked her again at which she said no and left the room

    She came back a few minutes later and asked to go home, which I took her home feeling awful cause I knew I made her uncomfortable.

    Other frustrations with family and financial that I didn’t deal with caused me to act irrationally (generally just irritated) the subsequent weeks, she then broke it off and it took me awhile to realize all of what I had done, I knew I messed up that day, but that wasn’t the only thing.

    I should’ve changed my mindset and made her boundary my boundary, and reached out and talked about what was frustrating me instead of dancing around it, I feel awful and want to try and fix it, I miss her family deeply and all I want to do is have dinner with them, sit on the couch and watch a stupid movie.

    I’m trying to do other things that make me happy but I’m finding it tough, tried working out but I lose energy quickly, games are feeling dull, my friends that I can still hangout with aren’t available right now and won’t be for months. I’m having trouble finding a job, and I’m considering joining the military, but I’m just tired, so so tired.

    People say that it gets better with time, but I just feel like it’s getting worse. Maybe it gets worse before it gets better but idk. She was my first relationship, but we’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve known her family for just as long, and it feels like a lot of things I love are just gone now.