Latest hits: if gender is performative that means it’s fake and patriarchy doesn’t exist! I don’t know who Judith Butler is!

  • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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    11 days ago

    If you’re being open minded and respectful even if you don’t understand something (or disengaging if you can’t) then probably 99% of trans people, myself included, aren’t going to have any issue with your questions or contributions to discussions about gender

    It’s the (usually cis) people who are at Gender 101 level engagement, think they’re at Gender 501 level engagement, and also want to understand and learn nothing who make this so goddamn tiring 🥲

    • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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      11 days ago

      lol no disrespect, but you did just say “be open minded and respectful” after posting a meme equating all cis people to idiot babies

      • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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        11 days ago

        Yes, you (general you) as a cis person should be open minded and respectful about trans people, because you don’t know shit about what it’s like to be trans.

        • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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          10 days ago

          But…my point was you can’t say “be open minded and respectful, you dumb, nothing-going-on-upstairs idiot toddler.”

          Do unto others, friend. That’s my point. Be respectful, don’t talk down to people and maybe you’ll be able to find that large swath of allies available to you. Because they do exist. But not if you actively repel them. Example: you’re in 196.blahaj and your attitude is not making you friends. You can’t find a more sympathetic crowd and your attitude is turning people against you. Learn from that.

          • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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            10 days ago

            “Be as respectful of my confident ignorance as you want me to be of your lived experience” isn’t what I fuck with, not sorry.

            • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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              10 days ago

              I’m…not the one downvoting you. You’re entirely missing the point. And entirely mischaracterizing me. I support you. I want to see you flourish and succeed. That’s what I’ve been saying. But you are shutting the door in everyone’s faces and saying “why doesn’t anyone want to be in this room with me?! They must be bigots!” No, you have to let people support you. You can’t turn everyone away and then blame them for not being on your side.

              And that’s not even people not being on your side! It’s hat they personally don’t like you—no offense. It has nothing to do with your identity. But if your perception is bent through that particular lens, then you’re seeing a lack of people around you, specifically, as a lack of support for trans people. And that is not what’s happening.

              See what I’m saying?

    • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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      11 days ago

      Let’s be honest here, that’s a long way of saying “the vast majority of people couldn’t give a shit either way how I live my life but they just really really wish I’d stop talking about myself for a minute” 😂