A college friend is being serial stalked and harassed, for several years now by an ex-roommate, and she is unable to get help. Yesterday after discovering a slew of hateful and threatening emails in her Spam dir, she called 911 (on my advice). They said they would be sending out officers and they never did.
This is obviously an abbreviated account, but this has been going on for years now, and since the presidential election this stalker as ratcheted up the harassment and the rhetoric.
She does not have many finacial means, is naturally timid, and has 4 adult children who are out of the house, but this criminal knows who they are and she fears direct action against this man.
I advised her to call 911, document EVERYTHING, and when it happens again, file another police report and keep doing so. In the past she tried to file on this man, and all they did was chase down an old address and then interviewed his sister, then squat. I also advised her to find a local advocacy/support group to speak with and get some support from.
This abuse takes place over email, text, and 1st person ( flattened tires, jammed keyways, etc etc). The abuser is a card carrying / tattooed Nazi, whom I suspect is on boards and forums learning how to cover his tracks, obfuscate sources etc.
What the fuck can ne done about this? I am not in tbe same region as she is BTW.
Thank you, seriously, deeply Thank You.
Columbus, Ohio, US
UPDATE: 15:03 EST: I have finally gotten through the broken Columbus, Ohio prosecutor’s office phone tree to an advocate for the local DV/Stalking Unit and they are now speaking together.
I’m pretty pro-gun and absolutely in favor of armed self defense. This is not good advice.
We don’t know enough about this person’s temperament to say whether she would be psychologically able to shoot someone. OP’s description suggests she might not. Sometimes people unsuccessfully try to use guns for intimidation and end up disarmed by their assailant. There’s also the matter of proficiency; we can’t assume she knows how to use a gun safely and effectively. The costs of instruction and practice ammunition add up, on top of the cost of a firearm.
Some people in this situation should get a gun, and it’s something I would encourage OP’s friend to think about, but it absolutely isn’t a no-brainer.
If one is incapable of harming an aggressor, they need to fix that as soon as possible.
I used to have that problem and I got fixed of it by letting an aggressor hurt me (I got extremely lucky to be saved from that aggressor by some other strangers who happened to be there; else I would have been fucked) at which point a deep part of me reorganized my priorities.
A person who’s incapable of defending herself needs to take immediate steps to fix that. To me it’s a no-brainer to start down that path immediately, when there’s some psycho entering her physical space repeatedly.
Get a gun, get training, etc. Get the ability to defend oneself, if it’s absent. This means psychology too.
I should have said get a gun and the will to use it. The only reason not to have that will is naïveté, and hers is eroding.