i like me.

everyone else is optional

I go in assuming no one will like me and then I’m just pleasantly surprised whenever they do. Like, only 5% didn’t like you? Not too fucking shabby, well done!

I remember I also don’t like a lot of people and that’s it

There’s a meme image I once saw that spoke to me.

It went; “Stop trying to be liked by everybody, when you don’t even like everybody”

And that’s so fucking true for someone such as me. You can’t please everyone, so you should stop trying because there’s thousands to possibly millions of people out there who simply live that spiteful and bitter lifestyle as their entire persona.

Who matters to me are the people I’ve personally befriended. It doesn’t hurt to co-exist and be kind to those who give it to you.

But everyone else, fuck them.

I’m too old to care. I like me and so does my family. That’s all that matters to me.

It may sound a little silly but when I get good feedback on something, I pop it in my journal under a specific tag so I can revisit it from time to time.

It’s unfortunate that people are unfair to you, possibly they are younger or otherwise have incorrect expectations about your fallibility as a human.

I used to respond to things like that but these days I let the positive comments speak for themselves. Just remember to ask for feedback- a lot of people otherwise won’t do it unless they’ve got something negative to say.

I just don’t give a shit.

70% of people are idiots so you’re doing pretty well. Only 9/10 dentists can agree on a toothpaste ffs!

Do you like everyone? Probably not. Just because people don’t like each other doesn’t mean something is wrong. You can even love somebody and want nothing to do with them.

Well, do you like everyone you meet? Why expect everyone else to?

You can make the world’s best apple pie and there are still people who don’t like apples. That’s not a flaw of the pie or them. That’s just life.

I wouldn’t say you get over it, more that you get used to it and realize that it’s not (always) about you.

1. Do they not like you for things intrinsic to your being or for you actions? If the former their opinion should hold little weight, if the later proceed to step two.

2. Reflect on why someone of their perspective might feel that way about your actions and assess the merits.

3. If you feel after sober contemplation that their critiques of your actions were well founded, adjust yourself going forwards. Otherwise remain as you were.

If it is as low as 5% I’d imagine it reflects more so on where they are in their lives, having little knowledge of the situation.

I don’t like everyone I meet. Why would I expect to be liked by everyone I meet?

I’m a 36 year old professor. My only negative evaluation this past semester was that I didn’t give homework. Though, most of them hated my guts from using grades to tell them their work was mostly average. <Insert Boomer comment about participation trophies>

The students realized they needed to change to improve their grades. And subsequently, they grew the way I expected, which was far more than they thought they would. They recognized I was teaching them more than the material: I was teaching them the meta. That was valuable enough to them to forgive me for being such a dick about the numbers that define their self worth.

So, want the students to give you those glowing 10/10 evaluations? Piss them off and make them glad that you did. Give them something of value that no one has. But, based off of how much you seem to care about the difference between a 95% and 100%, I think, much like my students, you are chasing your participation trophy. Think on it.

Many people suffer from impostor syndrome to a degree. Many people make mistakes even when it comes to subject matters they are very familiar with. Everyone has technical problems every now and then - that’s outside of your control. Technology is finicky and increasingly shit.

You’ll always get people who think they know better than you, or could do something better than you. But they aren’t. You are. You got where you are through your work and experience. As long you feel that you’re prepared to the best of your ability and knowledge, I think your conscience can be clear.

You will never have everyone you meet like you. Some people are just basic shitheads, and some of them will write reviews like that precisely to gaslight you into doubting yourself and your abilities. They do it for kicks. If 95% of your reviews are positive, you’re in a good place.

Honestly? I think you just have to age out of it. Like you said, it’s just a fact that not everyone will, but if you care about being liked in the first place, chances are that only time giving you opportunity to not be liked, and absorb the lesson that it doesn’t hurt anything, will move you past that desire.

Me? I had jobs where it was damn near constant hate in one way or another. Patients with dementia on my main job, plus the occasional coworker that just didn’t mesh. On my steadiest side job, I was a bouncer, and if you go a night without someone hating your guts, mark that shit in the calendar because it’s your new holy day.

So I had my give-a-shitter demolished by the time I could drink legally, and I’m not joking. By the time I was 21, I just did not give a fuck about being liked. It’s nice when it happens, but it wasn’t something I put any energy into at all. I just started doing my thing, being me, and enjoying the company of folks that are down with that.

It actually made dating in specific so much more pleasant.

But, yeah, you take enough hits on those reviews, start noticing the pattern that it’s people you would never be able to satisfy in the first place, and it’ll eventually roll off of you.