Trees are not a “problem”, but rather an untapped resource.
I mean look at them, millions, nah billions of them just sitting there, none of them are generating a penny for our billionaires.
Imagine what our glorious billionaires can do if we allow them to just chop down all those trees? Think of all the beautiful toiler paper for our collective asses, as well as the billion of bibles (including a copy of the constitution) that they can sell to us for the low low price of $65.
And as an added benefit, getting rid of all those trees will also eliminate the problem of forest fires. You can’t have those without forests in the first place.
To be sure, some forests will need to be left alone, specially those close to residential areas, but not for the reasons that you think.
We need those forests to actually burn down, hopefully taking down those houses next to them. Why? Think about it. If all those houses burn down then we can use those trees we chopped down elsewhere to build new houses, a BOOM for the construction billionaires. And also, it means that houses next to those forest that can accidentally burn down will have to have an increase in their insurance premium, we can even make it so that forests close to houses have a private company to fight forest fires, think of all the benefits for billionaires.
I tried asking ChatGPT to roleplay as Trump and repeat it in it’s own words, however it gave me back the same near-verbatim. I think this proves that the original text wasn’t far off
Listen, folks, you’re totally missing the point here. Trees aren’t a problem; they’re an incredible, untapped resource.
Look at them—millions, no, billions of trees just sitting there, doing nothing. They’re not making a single cent for our amazing billionaires. Imagine the fantastic things our billionaires could do if we let them chop down all those trees. We’d have an endless supply of beautiful toilet paper for everyone and billions of Bibles, plus a copy of the Constitution, all for the fantastic price of $65.
And guess what? By getting rid of all these trees, we’d also solve the problem of forest fires. No trees, no forest fires—so simple.
Now, we’ll keep some forests, especially near homes, but not for the reasons you think. We need those forests to burn down sometimes and take a few houses with them. Why? Because then we can rebuild those homes with the trees we chopped down elsewhere—a huge win for the construction industry. Plus, it means higher insurance premiums for homes near forests, and we can even privatize forest fire services. Think of all the benefits for our billionaires.
When you start thinking about the money, it all makes perfect sense.
You are all missing the point.
Trees are not a “problem”, but rather an untapped resource.
I mean look at them, millions, nah billions of them just sitting there, none of them are generating a penny for our billionaires.
Imagine what our glorious billionaires can do if we allow them to just chop down all those trees? Think of all the beautiful toiler paper for our collective asses, as well as the billion of bibles (including a copy of the constitution) that they can sell to us for the low low price of $65.
And as an added benefit, getting rid of all those trees will also eliminate the problem of forest fires. You can’t have those without forests in the first place.
To be sure, some forests will need to be left alone, specially those close to residential areas, but not for the reasons that you think.
We need those forests to actually burn down, hopefully taking down those houses next to them. Why? Think about it. If all those houses burn down then we can use those trees we chopped down elsewhere to build new houses, a BOOM for the construction billionaires. And also, it means that houses next to those forest that can accidentally burn down will have to have an increase in their insurance premium, we can even make it so that forests close to houses have a private company to fight forest fires, think of all the benefits for billionaires.
Once you start thinking money, it all makes sense
I need this in the style of Trump.
I tried asking ChatGPT to roleplay as Trump and repeat it in it’s own words, however it gave me back the same near-verbatim. I think this proves that the original text wasn’t far off
I hate that my brain rambling are that close to ChatGPT’s output.