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Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: January 4th, 2025

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  • I try to be mindful of this (I compliment people fairly frequently when I’m out of the house), and I still find that I don’t really ‘notice’ men as much as women (I am asexual, so it is not an attraction thing either.) I think it’s because a lot of women’s clothing is varied, lots of different and interesting patterns and color combinations and cuts and styles. Men’s fashion tends to be pretty… similar? The times I remember noticing and complimenting men has usually been when they’ve worn a t-shirt with an anime or something I like on it. One time I saw a guy with these really cool, vibrant sleeve tattoos too and I mentioned how much I like those.

    Not that I’m saying it’s men’s faults–men’s casual fashion seems to really stake itself on being ‘plain’ and ‘simple’. All the t-shirts look the same, just in different solid colors. Plain jeans are plain jeans. Cargo shorts are cargo shorts. It’s easy to let your eyes sort of slide past it without registering much. Almost like social camouflage!

    My husband wears a lot of 90s nostalgia t-shirts and he gets compliments on them!

    I’m pretty average looking but I have a cool looking cloak and I get a compliment literally every time I wear it because it pops. It’s different.


  • other_cat@lemmy.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldHelp
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    14 days ago

    Very true. I had someone I was friends with IRL who I would talk about my online roleplay community with. I asked if she was interested in joining and she said sure. She was… insufferable. Did not get along with anyone else. I found her online presence incredibly grating. It was crazy, it was a completely different person.


  • I think it’s less of a Tumblr thing and more of a “how much time do you spend online talking to people” thing. Or maybe more of an instant messenger and tumblr just has a lot of that demographic. Most of my friend group is online, and has been for decades now, so I lean more into what the OP is saying because it’s true–it is very difficult to convey tone through words alone, and playing with spelling and grammar and diction creates a more nuanced language. That said it is reliant that the audience you’re engaging with have that same understanding. I’ve talked to some people through text who gave me the same reaction you have, and they were people I didn’t regularly engage with. The in-language probably made sense to them and their friends though.