• 555@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    “The secret playbook” a novel by Ted Cruz.

    Teddy loved football, but wasn’t very good at it. He thought he could never help his college football team win the big game. Then one day Coach Thick caught Teddy sniffing used jock straps and introduced him to the rest of the boys. Now that Teddy is the new “tight end” in the locker room, he can finally prove he is the Most Valuable Pussy.

  • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
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    5 months ago

    Having to grovel for money and spend a lot of your working life strategizing how you can extract enough money from rich people, to pay for your next campaign, is a far too large part of every single congressperson’s agenda.

    It’s not optional and it is time consuming and humiliating and it automatically puts a bunch of power in the hands of rich people instead of voters. It’s for real a little bit confusing to me why the congresspeople don’t put a stop to it (publicly funded elections).

    • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      Because most (if not all) members of congress love to beg for money from rich people and are really good at it. It’s the reason they became congress members in the first place. Public funded elections would never be as profitable for them.

      • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
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        5 months ago

        Maybe. The way I’ve heard it explained is that it’s time consuming and humiliating for almost everyone though. Here’s the first random story I could find. I’m clearly missing something, though, since they clearly aren’t putting a stop to it, so maybe you are correct and it’s only the scrubs that have to go to the call center.

        • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          The system gets what it breeds… When fundraising is so important you will automatically get congress members with no integrity who already had rich friends or who have great ass kiss abilities. This is just another symptom of the failing of ‘democracy’ that’s bound to happen in a society with class inequality. The dominating class will always use their means to turn the odds in favour of their own needs.

    • LimeZest@discuss.tchncs.de
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      5 months ago

      The ones who are in congress are the ones who are good at successfully navigating this system of campaigning. They don’t want to level the playing field for opponents who don’t have a strong network of rich donors ready to boost them.

  • Zombiepirate@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Cruz said, "there are many, many wonderful, wonderful working men and women in the state of New York, but everyone understands that the values in New York City are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro- gay-marriage, [and] focus around money and the media.

    Said the podcast host who is begging billionaires for money. Fuck this waste of skin.

  • ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I’m pretty sure I know what his play book said, based on his career up to this point…

    Step 1: be a total shitheel in college so everyone there hates you.

    Step 2: enter politics through family connections, but make sure to lie about your name so you sound more Caucasian and win over your racist voter base.

    Step 3: grandstand so much over stupid shit that you become the target of meme conspiracies.

    Step 4: run for the presidency against a vindictive, malignant narcissist conman. Make sure to disparage him at every turn to try to make yourself look better.

    Step 5: grovel and ingratiate yourself into abject humiliation to said vindictive malignant narcissist conman when he beats you to the party nomination and unleashes political hell on you (and calls your wife ugly).

    Step 6: become despised by your own children for continuing to be a total shitheel and a failure of a payment.

    Step 7: run away to Cancun during an emergency and when your constituents need you most. Side note: make sure to drag your kids there with you in case it makes them hate you any less. (Spoiler alert: they will just hate you even more for doing that, but oh well!)

    Step 8: align yourself with the lunatic fringe of your party, even though they despise you and mock you behind your back.

    Step 9: cling on desperately to your current political office for the rest of your pathetic career, knowing you have already peaked and that nobody outside some gullible constituents currently or will ever like or respect you.

    • joekar1990@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Step 10: Lose political office and make a huge deal out of it. Complain of a rigged election, but actually be happy about results and get into lobbying?

  • ampedwolfman@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    This is only what they assume it to be. They are still having issues deciphering his weird lizard man script.