At Bella’s Hacienda Ranch, a brothel on the outskirts of the rural Nevada truckstop town of Wells, a half-priced special for adult male virgins this May has gone off with a bang.
What may seem like a publicity stunt has compassion behind it. May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US, and the brothel’s 74-year-old namesake owner and operator, Madam Bella Cummins, wants to raise awareness of what she describes as a “virginity epidemic”. She blames digital platforms supplanting young people’s in-person, “IRL” experiences, leading to stunted social development. Brothels, she argues, offer a safe space to work through resulting feelings of anxiety, shame and isolation.
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There is evidence that adult virginity and sexual inexperience are on the rise in the US, Canada and other western countries, according to Marie-Aude Boislard, director of the Canada Research Chair in developmental sexology. Approximately 15% of individuals born in the 1990s are virgins in their early 20s, the highest rate of sexual inactivity since 1985. Many report “difficult emotions” and interpersonal struggles due to social stigma, the dearth of visibility of sexual inexperience in adulthood and a lack of intimacy.
Wasn’t sure if I should share this or not, but I wrestled with it in my head for like five minutes and here we are.
My buddy has been in so many lopsided relationships. Like dating moms who are still married and he’s just the side piece. Or dating a foreign girl who visits him in the US, but refuses to leave her marriage in Spain.
We went on vacation together. My wife, kids, and my buddy. And after a lot of consideration, explored the red light district and fooled around with the sex workers.
I don’t know what happened fully. But after our trip, he had this fire in his eyes… He shared how he opened up the workers and how my wife & I’s normal vacation squabble made him realize his prior relationships weren’t healthy. And he’s committing himself to finding a real relationship.
I suppose the moral of the story is that there are many paths to enlightenment and, if it works for someone (and no-one else is harmed by it) then that’s the important thing.
As a tween and young teen I was fascinated by psychology and “sexual dysfunction” (textbook term at the time). I wrote one of my science final reports (our finals were original reports, not tests) on common sexual dysfunctions amongst American women. My mom was supportive until she saw I was watching a documentary on sexual surrogate therapy that was basically exactly the same thing as described in this article. Even at 14 I could see the benefits of being treated by a trained sexual therapist. Ultimately I went into tech so I wouldn’t starve. I did alright but the idea professional sexual therapy always stuck with me. I hope someday it becomes widely available, especially given the current changes that have come with modern human interaction.
EDIT: I think it was this documentary. It’s been a while.
I think this says more about our lack of adequate affordable mental health care and third spaces. You shouldn’t have to turn to a brothel for healing
And the “therapists” likely need therapy after all the physical and mental/emotional baggage from their line of work.
That’s actually kinda cool.
Addressing misogyny and associated incel mindsets pays for itself and then some in civil society.
There’s an australian show from a decade or two ago called “Satisfaction” set around a legal brothel that I’m pretty sure tackled this sort of thing (ans a whole host of others) at least once.
As someone raised in a wildly conservative household I found it very eye-opening in my 20’s\30’s. It put what would probably been considered a very human slant on the whole sex worker industry at the time. Not sure how it holds up nowadays, though.
sexual surrogacy is a type of therapy!
A little nominative determinism there
Her husband and business partner is Lance Cummins. It seems too good to be true.
What the fuck is that.
You will wish to look that good at 74.
How can they prove someone is a virgin?
From the article:
To receive the discount, men must provide a letter from a mental health professional acknowledging their claim, which Cummins hopes encourages some adult virgins to seek therapy when they otherwise wouldn’t.
You can always tell
The first visit? They probably can’t and it’s just the cost of doing business plus a bit of advertisement and societal good will.
The second visit it would be obvious, though.
